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Tools

Making Your 'Shoulds' Non-Negotiable

April 22, 2024 / by Broadminded

In our lives, we all have things we think we should do. Whether it's improving our health, advancing our career, or fostering better relationships, these "shoulds" hover in the back of our minds, often unattended. Tony Robbins, a renowned life coach, introduces a powerful twist to this narrative: transforming these "shoulds" into "musts." But what does this really mean, and how can it change the way we approach our goals and dreams?

The Power of "Must"

When we label something as a “should,” it carries a hint of obligation and procrastination—it’s something we’ll eventually get to. However, when something becomes a “must,” it’s no longer a choice but a necessity. This shift from a passive wish to an active commitment is where true change begins. Tony Robbins emphasises, “We don’t get what we want. We get what we have to have.” This statement underscores the essence of turning our aspirations into non-negotiable parts of our lives.

Why Turn "Should" Into "Must"?

Imagine a life where you're not just dreaming of what you want but actually living it. The difference lies in our determination to see our "shoulds" as "musts." Here’s why:

Declaring something as a must removes ambiguity and compels us to focus our efforts.

Musts come with increased urgency and drive, pushing us past hurdles and procrastination.

Musts lead to action, and action leads to results. By reclassifying our goals, we're more likely to achieve them.

Making FOMO Work for You

The fear of missing out (FOMO) isn't just for social events or the latest tech gadget. It can be a motivational tool. What if you feared missing out on a fulfilled, purpose-driven life? By viewing our personal growth and achievements as must-haves, we harness the emotional energy of FOMO to fuel our pursuits.

1) Identify Your Shoulds: Write down all the things you feel you should be doing but aren’t. These can range from personal health goals to professional aspirations.

2) Find Your Why: For each "should," ask yourself why it’s important to turn it into a "must." What will you lose if you don’t? What will you gain if you do?

3) Commit Publicly: One way to solidify a must is to commit to it publicly. Whether it's telling a friend or posting on social media, making a public commitment can significantly boost your accountability.

Try the "Should Into Must" Exercise

To truly integrate this concept into your life, we invite you to try the “Should Into Must” exercise available on our website. This interactive tool will guide you through the steps to transform your shoulds into musts, providing you with a structured way to ignite change and harness your full potential.

Turning "should" into "must" is more than a motivational strategy; it's a transformative process that shifts how we perceive and interact with our goals. By making our desires non-negotiable, we open the doors to a life filled with achievement and satisfaction.

Start your journey today by exploring how to make your aspirations indispensable. Remember, the life you want isn’t just a series of unfulfilled dreams—it's a series of musts waiting to be realised.

To download your "Should Into Must" exercise

References

Robbins, T. (1991)

Awaken the Giant Within: How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny!. Simon & Schuster.

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Tools

Managing Anxiety and Stress by Grounding Techniques

September 23, 2023 / by Ligia Hamada

Grounding techniques are a collection of therapeutic exercises and practices designed to anchor you in the present moment, both mentally and physically. They are particularly useful when you’re feeling anxious, dissociated, or overwhelmed. The core concept behind grounding is to shift your focus away from distressing thoughts or emotions and redirect it towards your immediate sensory experiences.

Types of Grounding Techniques.

There are various grounding techniques to choose from, each tailored to different preferences and situations. Here are some common types:

- Mental Grounding: Mental grounding techniques are intended to redirect your focus away from distressing thoughts and maintain your mental presence. Here are two effective methods:

* 5-4-3-2-1 Technique: This grounding technique is an effective way to help you stay present in the moment and break free from overthinking. By focusing on your five senses, this technique helps distract you from negative, anxiety-inducing thoughts that often come with the “what ifs” and “if onlys.” It provides instant relief by giving you a positive distraction, taking your mind away from endless rumination and over-analysis. This grounding technique can be especially helpful during moments of stress or anxiety, helping you to stay centred and present.

* S.O.B.E.R Technique: The SOBER stress interruption technique is an approach grounded in mindfulness that helps manage stress, anxiety, and overwhelming emotions. It provides a structured way to respond to challenging situations with greater awareness and resilience.

- Physical Grounding: Physical grounding techniques involve focusing on bodily sensations to establish a sense of stability and presence. Here are two techniques that illustrate physical grounding:

* 4-7-8 Breathing Exercise: Encourages relaxation by stimulating the body’s relaxation response. Shifts focus away from anxious thoughts by concentrating on breath and counting. Improves oxygen supply, promoting clearer thinking. Regulates the nervous system, balancing stress and relaxation responses. Builds a sense of control over thoughts and emotions through regular practice.

* Mountain Meditation: Mountain meditation is a mindfulness meditation practice that can help you cultivate a sense of stability and rootedness, much like a mountain. The scientiﬁc basis for mountain meditation is rooted in the principles of mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR), a technique developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn in the 1970s. MBSR has been shown to reduce stress and improve overall well-being through the practice of mindfulness meditation.

Why Do Grounding Techniques Work?

Grounding techniques are rooted in the principles of mindfulness and sensory awareness. They work by engaging your senses and shifting your attention away from distressing thoughts or memories. Here’s why they are effective:

* Interrupting Negative Thought Patterns: Grounding disrupts rumination and negative thought cycles, allowing your mind to reset.

* Stimulating the Parasympathetic Nervous System: Deep breathing and relaxation exercises activate the body’s relaxation response, reducing stress hormones and promoting calm.

* Enhancing Self-Awareness: Grounding encourages you to be present in your body and observe your emotions without judgment, fostering self-awareness and emotional regulation.

* Providing a Sense of Control: Grounding techniques empower you with tools to manage difficult emotions and situations.

In summary, grounded techniques play a crucial role in the psychotherapeutic process by facilitating present-moment awareness and connection to the physical world. These techniques can be a game-changer when combined with psychotherapy to help you manage distressing thoughts, emotions, or memories associated with past traumas by grounding them in the present experience. In this sense, we encourage our Broad-minded clients to ground themselves in the here and now, fostering a sense of stability, safety, and increased self-awareness.

To download our free grounding techniques toolkit

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